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  • Katherine Finn

Choose Your Words With Care

We all have an inner dialogue. I invite you to tune in and notice how positive or negative yours is … What sort of statements do you make about yourself, the people and the world around you? Do you encourage, motivate and boost yourself using phrases such as ‘I can do this’, ‘Go for it’, ‘I am lucky’ and so create visions of yourself succeeding? Or do you tell yourself ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I feel anxious’, ‘I’m rubbish at this’, ‘I don’t deserve to be happy’.

This derogative self-talk can cause anxiety, low mood and anger which feeds your Primitive Mind. You’ll be encouraged to repeat, reinforce and magnify this behaviour until you’re an expert in ‘stink thinking’. Negatively forecasting the future can then consciously or unconsciously create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The primary focus of your Primitive Mind (PM) is survival, however, it can easily misinterpret a situation and in its efforts to protect you - jump to the worst case scenario and persuade you you’re useless or convince you that it’s safer to stick with what you know rather than embracing change or trying new things.  This isn’t always helpful.

Anxiety is caused by ‘stink thinking’ but it’s not necessarily the situation, the event or the people that cause the perception of crisis - it’s the way you choose to wrap your thoughts around these things.

If someone was standing right in front of you, with no regards for your personal space and hurling those mean insults at you, would you just stand there and take it?

I help my Clients to recognise when their PM isn’t adding value and teach them techniques to change the instructions so they can re-direct their thoughts with compassion and kindness and realise the benefits. They employ strategies to elevate them into their Intellectual Mind where they can take back control, think rationally, use perspective and decide the best way to react and respond.

If I say to you ‘Whatever you do - don’t visualise a blue elephant’ you’re likely to immediately conjure up a blue elephant because the unconscious mind can’t process negatives. It’s important therefore to be aware of the language you use, for example, ‘I want to feel calm’ is much better than ‘I don’t want to feel anxious’. Solution Focussed Hypnotherapy encourages you to face the direction in which you want to go and use your imagination to your advantage by focussing on how you want to be thinking, feeling and behaving.

Try writing your own empowering and aspirational statements for whenever you need to bypass that PM, e.g. ‘I am good at … I am special because … I like myself when I … I always try to … I know I can … ’ and turn up the volume! Creating the best version of yourself starts from within so even thinking about your choice of words will be a great start.

Please get in touch if you’d like help turning your frown upside down,



BA (Hons), DipSFH. Reg AfSFH, CNHC, NCIP

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